The Heart of the World

5 years ago with 6 comments in Uncategorized
“But my dear Sebastian, you can’t seriously believe it all.” “Can’t I?” “I mean about Christmas and the star and the three kings and the ox and the ass.” “Oh yes. I believe that. It’s a lovely idea.” “But you can’t believe things because they’re a lovely idea.” “But I do. That’s how I believe.”1 One of my favorite ...

Damn It Feels Good to be a Recluse

5 years ago with 19 comments in Uncategorized
I love being alone, and I hate it. Am I a natural introvert, or a thwarted extrovert? I spent all Sunday by myself. Some people would envy the pants off me for that — I’m thinking again of my married siblings. I know they love their kids and love spending time with them, but I know from my years as a teacher that being surrounded, all day long, by little people who need things, ...

Technical Difficulties

5 years ago with 7 comments in Uncategorized
Just in case anyone is in the habit of frantically refreshing my blog, maybe you noticed that the site went down for a while. This had nothing to do with Hurricane Irene, which in my area has been something of a disappointment. It had everything to do, on the other hand, with me not paying close enough attention to which directory I was in before issuing a pretty little “rm -R *” ...

What Did You Expect?

5 years ago with 39 comments in Uncategorized
One of the dangers of a life like mine — being single, living alone, working a job that mainly involves staring at glowing rectangles all day — is that your faults tend to get hidden from you. When I was a teacher, It was impossible to avoid my faults: how little it takes to make me lose patience, how I have it in me to be casually cruel even to a sixth-grader if I’m short ...

It’s Not You, It’s My !@#$ Celibacy

5 years ago with 26 comments in Uncategorized
I tried for over an hour to write this post about what happened today at the gym. It was about how, even though I found out my gym buddy Eddy is gay, and found this out by him hitting on me, and had to tell him that yes, I’m (1) gay, but also (2) Catholic and therefore (3) celibate, I feel nothing but good and satisfied and proud of myself. Well, I do feel good and satisfied and proud ...

Costing Not Less Than Everything

5 years ago with 5 comments in Uncategorized
“God really does give you your heart’s desire,” Mother Agnes was saying, Madre Inez I mean. She was the last person you would have expected to end up in Puerto Maldonado, one of the poorer sections of Peru, surrounded by jungle on every side. Twenty hours by bus from Cuzco and most of those on dirt roads, jungle on every side. I think she grew up on a farm in Iowa. ...

Thorns

5 years ago with 23 comments in Uncategorized
I admit I used to pray that my SSA would be taken away. I guess I still do, occasionally, though not with great conviction. I reckon that if He wanted to take it away, He would have by now, and it’s not something I should worry about too much. Besides, in one sense, I doubt He could do it. God can do anything, but as Dorothy Sayers pointed out, some propositions aren’t ...

Hosting

5 years ago with 12 comments in Uncategorized
Post-party blues. I had more than twenty people over last night, and all I’ve got to show for it is a kitchen floor covered in beery footprints — someone brought a keg?! — and a pantry full of tortilla fragments and mostly-empties. It was fun, which frankly sort of surprised me. For someone who used to be scared of going to parties at all — or really even just talking ...

Where Is Your Treasure?

5 years ago with 10 comments in Uncategorized
This morning I found these in my inbox: These are CFRs, as in “the Community of the Franciscans of the Renewal.” They’re an order founded by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, among others. They work with the poor, but also they are the poor. I always think that if St. Francis were starting today, this is what it would look like. I don’t think I’ve seen a picture of CFRs ...