This from Father Peter West of Human Life International. I stole it off his [public] facebook page, so there’s no link.

A woman visited her doctor. “Doctor,” she said, “I have a perfectly functioning circulatory system.”

“That’s good,” the doctor replied.

“Well,” she said, “I was wondering if you could give me a drug to make it stop functioning the way that it is supposed to.”

“That’s crazy!” the doctor replied. “Why would I give you something to make your circulatory system stop functioning well?”

“Ok,” the woman replied, “but how about my respiratory system. It seems to be working fine. Could you give me something to mess it up?”

The doctor was shocked. “Of course not! No doctor in their right mind would intentionally give you a drug to mess up a healthy respiratory system.”

“Well, how about my reproductive system?” asked the woman. “Can you give me something to make it stop functioning the way that it is supposed to?”

“Certainly,” the doctor replied. “We have all kinds of medicines to do that.”

Zing!

Hey, but unrelatedly, I’m pretty excited to be working on a post for Catholic Exchange. It’s the standard “Hey, guess what! I’m gay — BUT ALSO CATHOLIC!” but I think it turned out pretty well. Will let you know when it goes up.

17 thoughts on “Fix Me

  1. Ron

    Good point about the drugs. I heard a comment somewhere that contraception is good for both the woman and her children. Umm, what children??

    Looking forward to reading what you have to say on the Catholic Exchange.

    Reply
  2. Rayjo

    How about this one:

    “Mommy, where do babies come from?”
    “A stork brings them, honey.”
    “Oh.”
    “What is it, sweety?”
    “Well, then what is sex for?”
    “…”

    Reply
    1. Jessica

      Thank you for the “fix me post.” As a married catholic women, surrendering my fertility to the Lord is completely scary and totally awesome at the same time. My husband and I have been married 2 and half years (we have one child and one on the way) – when our non-catholic friends, or non-practicing catholic friends talk about how many children they will have – we just smile and nod – knowing we really don’t have a number in mind. We just take it month by month and see where the Lord takes us. Knowing this part of our lives is in complete surrender to the Lord caused us to really be a step ahead in other areas of our life (for example, we life debt free and simple just to make sure we can provide for the family), etc. I can go on and on, but I will leave with this thought – when I pray and see myself giving my heart to the Lord, it includes everypart of me, even the life-giving part , and it includeds me saying – it’s Yours Lord, all of it.

      Reply
  3. Ima

    Another memorable argument: Contraception is like the ancient Roman vomitorium. People would feast until they were full, and then vomit so they could enjoy filling up again.

    Reply
  4. leonard

    I agree with you that sex is for two people that love each other. So what about two gays (2males or 2females)why is it so wrong for them to express their love for each other? Is sex just for procreation? Heck the earth is overpopulated as it is. That population is causing havoc on the environment. The hetero couples aren’t supposed to use contraceptives according to the Church. It is a sin. Many use them anyway or get vasectomies or their tubes tied to avoid pregnancy. Can you explain that to us?

    I am gay have been for years (since a least 8 yrs old) am now 69.

    Reply
    1. Keith

      Leonard:

      http://www.overpopulationisamyth.com

      Sex is for unity and procreation. It is a gift of God to man and woman to draw them closer together, that they might bring one another to heaven as well as live out His first instruction: be fruitful and multiply and subdue the earth and have dominion over it.

      Sex is not recreational and sex, outside of marriage, is gravely disordered to the good of the individual’s and society.

      Reply
  5. Michael Filo

    Brother Leonard,

    Sex is for a purpose. It has two ends : Unity and procreation.
    All sex ought to be open to procreation (that is what sperm and eggs are supposed to do, after all.) All sex ought to bring about unity. The context for sexual relationships is marriage because marriage provides a place for unity and a stable foundation for procreation.

    Overpopulation is not really a big problem. In countries where overpopulation does exist, such as Japan, people simply have less children. Those who use sinful means to have less children are doing something wrong because they are closing off the procreative part of sex. In fact, that tends to cause a disunity. Consider this : in three different surveys the divorce rate found among those who do not use artificial contraception was .2%. Our society at large is over 50%. There is a disunity in using contraception. http://www.physiciansforlife.org/content/view/193/36/

    To understand the link between the procreative and unity aspect of sex, it may be fair to look at homosexual couples who cannot procreate and how long they stay together, and how monogamous they are. You may not like the source, but it references it’s works and is more a compendium of surveys than one that produced original research. The homosexual data comes from generally pro-gay or neutral publications. http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=IS04C02

    The reality is that the Church has the obligation to spread the message of love. All love unifies. To accomadate the desires of people would be to fail to preach the message of Jesus Christ who IS love. Thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless you and keep you close to his heart and please pray for me.

    Reply
  6. Liz

    When the procontraceptive people tout it as a valuable part of women’s health, I wonder if they have listened to the risks stated at the end of the ads…”may increase the risk of blood clots, heart attack or strokes.”

    But it is preventative care? Seriously?

    Reply
    1. Lidia

      I think we’re veering off subject here, but since you mention it and it is timely, If it’s truly women’s health issues they are concerned with, why not free pregnancy coverag? Is that not women’s health? And isn’t preventative care to help you not get a disease? Is pregnancy a disease?

      Reply
  7. Annette

    Lidia- the way we “treat” it, pregnancy MUST be a disease, because it would be insane to “treat” someone who is healthy and… Oh, wait.

    Reply
  8. Charlie

    Blah blah blah, tired of hearing the argument that if two people of whatever sex love each other, they must have sex.

    If two men or women love each other, it’s called friendship. They don’t need to have sex to express their love. They can touch, they can help each other; they don’t need to rub uglies.

    Reply
  9. Pingback: Ask Mary: I really, really don’t want kids. | Young and Catholic

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