So I says to the Lord at the beginning of this Lent, “Lord,” I says, “let’s keep things on the surface this year. I think I’m in a pretty good spot.”

“Yeah?” He says.

“Yeah,” I say. “I mean, I’ll give stuff up and so forth. I’m no slacker, I’ll even tackle something big. But you and I, we’re close enough already. Right? I mean, no need to dig deep. My prayer life’s pretty good as it stands.”

“Yeah?” He says.

“Yeah,” I say.

“Okay,” says the Lord. “Now here’s some heartbreak, here’s some failure, here’s a relapse or two into an emotional landscape you thought you left behind years ago. Here’s a dose of your own weakness and a hard look at your own phoniness. Here, I’m going to allow you to depend on your own resources for just a teeny second. How you feeling about that prayer life now?”

Gnrrrhhk,” I say, from where I’m sprawled on the floor, bleeding.

…Okay, I like to overdramatize things a little bit, and I know he’s the Good Shepherd, not the Abusive Spouse. Buuuuut, damn, hard week, friends, and it’s time maybe to hit the Adoration chapel a little bit harder. Rend your heart, not your garments, the Lord seems to be saying; And maybe you could use a little hand with that rending?

Feels a little like how I imagine Muay Thai conditioning to be.

In other words, a successful Lent so far. Right?

5 thoughts on “Cortical Remodeling

  1. Heidi Ifft

    I was hoping you might write a post on the Priest who refused to give Communion to a lesbian. I’m anxious to hear your thoughts on that.


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