Jun 10, 2012
Happy Corpus Christi! I’m at my parents’ house for the weekend, bracing myself to go back to the nomadic existence that I’m just gonna have to deal with for a while — bouncing around between my sister’s house, my brother’s house, and my [old] roommates’ house, when I can handle the latter. So conditions are not ideal for posting.
In the mean time here’s an excellent and surprising post from a Mormon man who is gay and is married to a woman. Couple of excerpts:
One of the sad truths about being homosexual is that no matter what you decide for your future, you have to sacrifice something. It’s very sad, but it is true. I think this is true of life in general as well. If you decide to be a doctor, you give up any of the myriad of other things you could have chosen. But with homosexuality, the choices seem to be a little bit more mutually exclusive. If you are Mormon and you choose to live your religion, you are sacrificing the ability to have a romantic relationship with a same-sex partner. If you choose a same-sex partner, you are sacrificing the ability to have a biological family with the one you love. And so on. No matter what path you choose, if you are gay you are giving up something basic, and sometimes various things that are very basic. I chose not to “live the gay lifestyle,” as it were, because I found that what I would have to give up to do so wasn’t worth the sacrifice for me.
And a bit further down:
During our conversation, [my psychologist at the time, who is a lesbian] told me about her life with her partner. She spoke of a girl, whom she considered her daughter, who is the biological child of her ex-lover, with whom she lived for only three years. She told me of how much she loved her daughter, but how infrequently she got to see her. And eventually, when talking about my sex life, she said “well, that’s good you enjoy sex with your wife, but I think it’s sad that you have to settle for something that is counterfeit.”
I was a little taken aback by this idea — I don’t consider my sex-life to be counterfeit. In response, I jokingly said “and I’m sorry that you have to settle for a counterfeit family.” She immediately saw my point and apologized for that comment.
Whole post is here. I like the lack of self-pity, and the way the author considers his homosexuality to be “a critical part of [his] person”, without considering it an overwhelming, all-encompassing part.
More from me as soon as things settle down a little (O when?). Oremus pro invicem.