Comments on: Interlude: Kung Fu

By: Steve Gershom

Steve Gershom — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 03:53:54 +0000

Sarah: Duly noted and appreciated. Glad you came by.

By: sarah blake

sarah blake — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 21:13:33 +0000

I know this is a very old post but I’ve only just discovered your blog and when I got to the bit about spending your childhood having no idea what was going on, I wanted to say, ‘me, too!’

By: Paul Delgadillo

Paul Delgadillo — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 18:33:39 +0000

I just contacted my spiritual director and he is happy I finally joined the gym. Since I live in a small town, it is easy to get to know everyone and the fact that my Zumba instructor is also the mother of four, soon to be five, and is a member of our parish has been a great incentive for me to show up. My rosary always gets prayed as I meditate and psyche myself up going to the gym, which is a half hour walk along a lake each day. I am finally taking the physical side of my person seriously and it is working. My contemplative life is better. I also take Yoga, fully aware of the Hindu influences, I just Christianize the meditations.

By: Brandon

Brandon — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 18:55:33 +0000

Take this for what it’s worth, but I do believe envy has a part to play in SSA (though I don’t think I’d say it is the sole cause of it). I’ve always found it fascinating how when you ask almost any gay guy what it is they find appealing about other men, they almost universally will say that they are drawn to guys who have certain features, qualities, or characteristics which they feel they lack themselves. This isn’t true of all homosexuals, but I have noticed it in the majority who I ever posed the question to. I’ve felt that way myself. Just as an example, I have always been incredibly shy, and have worked hard in the last few years to overcome that. I’ve always been attracted to guys who weren’t afraid to speak up and be themselves around others. I saw in them something I liked, and I liked it because it was something hard for me to do but wished I could do. Not that I was jealous, but there was more of a feeling of admiration.

By: Sky

Sky — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 21:19:53 +0000

“But the funny thing about the obsessions, the longer crushes, the ones that occupy the fantasy life, the ones i want to save…. they all generally look like me. They could be (the whole? the hetero?) versions of myself.”

WHAM. They either look like me or how I wish I looked. And act how I wish I acted, are good at things I suck at, hold the convictions I can’t quite get right.

Maybe envy isn’t the root of SSA, exactly, but it’s easy to see they’re linked. We may like dudes but we still *are* dudes. The really powerful attractions are the ones that are mixed: the envy of men and the lust of women.

I wonder about the guys I find physically (and otherwise) attractive but don’t particularly admire, and conversely, the men I admire but don’t find attractive. I wonder if that’s close to what heterosexual people feel like on a daily basis.

By: Narcissus Goldmund

Narcissus Goldmund — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 11:26:59 +0000

I told myself I would not comment here anymore, but I have always had a problem with discipline and self-control. Men’s Health, ha, I used to subscribe – it seemed to me the least gay of the fitness magazines and, for better or worse, allowed me to transform myself into someone who gets noticed. But attraction is mysterious. Personally, there are those little attractions: a good looking tan blonde here, that hairy dude with the muscles over there, and even a woman every now and then. They catch your eye but are ephemeral. But the funny thing about the obsessions, the longer crushes, the ones that occupy the fantasy life, the ones i want to save…. they all generally look like me. They could be (the whole? the hetero?) versions of myself.

By: Catholic Salmon

Catholic Salmon — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 12:21:58 +0000

Nominated your blog for the ‘VERY INSPIRING BLOG AWARD’. Pick it up at 1catholicsalmon.com

By: Steve Gershom

Steve Gershom — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 01:39:26 +0000

Ha, the missing secret manual! Yeah, Gabriel, you nailed it.

By: Steve Gershom

Steve Gershom — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 01:38:17 +0000

Hi Aubrey,

Yes, that’s definitely what I am suggesting. I know it might not be true for everyone — I suspect SSA comes in many different flavors — but I know it is true in my case, and true for a lot of the men I know.

By: Aubrey

Aubrey — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 00:57:04 +0000

Thanks, Gabriel. I like what you wrote, and I can relate to what you said.
Personally, I think attraction is mysterious. At times, I have been attracted to individuals whom most others would not find very attractive—but there is a certain indefinable quality that makes the person attractive to me.