Comments on: Interlude: On Hope

By: Miss D.

Miss D. — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 00:10:37 +0000

Paul D., thanks for explaining the situation at your parish, though it’s wrong on many levels.

I am so sorry at how you were treated by your deacon regarding your being HIV positive, and that someone in a leadership role, and Catholic leadership role, would use your health against you in a political move.

I love the Church and the Truth that has been passed down to us through the ages, but the human side responsible for living the Truth through ministry and action is so often gravely lacking to those who need it the most.

Is there any other parish in your area that’s a good, orthodox one and would be welcoming to you?

Just know that someone out here in the Internet admires you for continuing to be a witness to the Faith in spite of such trials. Pax vobiscum.

By: Paul Delgadillo

Paul Delgadillo — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 06:59:55 +0000

It was not the ordinary who was worried about being sued but Catholic Charities in this diocese. Catholic Charities is also under a lot of scrutiny in other areas of the country, because of some the those involved backing pro-choice candidates. On the HIV issue, the diocese consulted immunologists on this issue, the HIV virus is dead on contact with the air. There is more of a chance of catching herpies from a cold sore. The deacon was jealous because I was part of a men’s that was promoting Eucharistic Adoration. Funny, I was just asked to join the Knights of Columbus. The issue is hospitality, which is what the gospels during the last few Sundays have been about. The guests to our pantry understand but they are very disappointed. When I mentioned to our deacons that those visiting our pantry want a Bible study, they shirked that responsibility, which according to canon law is their first responsibility.

By: Sky

Sky — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 20:47:33 +0000

Paul, I’m very sorry to hear about your situation, but I’m not sure what could be done differently. I’d guess that the reason your ordinary fears being sued is that, if someone from another denomination were to contract something from your parish’s pantry, that church would have grounds for a lawsuit against your parish. There is less danger of HIV transmission than people believe, but it *can* be transmitted through blood, so even a cut on the finger can be dangerous.

But that really sucks, man. Maybe try not to see it as a slight against you and more a result of our lawsuit-happy culture?

—

I’ll bet Steve is well aware of the dangers of smoking, but quitting is a lot of work and he’s got quite enough on his plate right now.

By: Nayhee

Nayhee — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 22:40:55 +0000

Yeah, Steve, why DO you smoke? It’s so 1985!
(and unhealthy, obviously.)

By: Paul Delgadillo

Paul Delgadillo — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 04:47:17 +0000

Firstly, two years ago, after being an active member in our parish men’s group, I was eliminated by our elder deacon (our parish has 2) for openly telling parish members that I am HIV positive. The deacon checked with the diocese and found out that there was no basis in removing me, due to possibly exposing others to HIV. The HIV virus dies immediately on exposure to air. The second issue happened to me two weeks ago. I am a former Disneyland employee and I am normally very outgoing. I have received a lot of complements from those running our food pantry. However, our pastor claims that he received a letter from Catholic Charities in our diocese stating that we could no longer serve cake and coffee to those coming to our pantry as the ordinary is worried that we might get sued. “When I was hungry you fed me.” It was pointed out to our youngest deacon that it is quite all right for us to serve our Catholic brothers and sisters but not the Protestants, Jews and others who come to our food pantry weekly. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta is turning over in her grave. I have also approached our pastor about the fact that our diocese has no effective ministry for those with SSA. Our last spiritual director left a year a go and there is still not replacement.

By: Mark from PA

Mark from PA — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 03:18:57 +0000

Hope that all this is going well and helping you. I have to share that I feel so blessed by the friends that I have met through the internet. I have met so many great people, some of whom inspire me. I have seen so much beauty in my gay friends. I mentioned to a woman on a site that talking with others has been leading me to truth. My friends have helped to increase my understanding. This woman responded to me that I continued to be heretical in my embrace and defense of homosexual “lifestyles.” The woman didn’t really get it that her comments and those of others that think like her were instrumental in affecting my opinions in a way that made me more compassionate towards gay people. Using words like heretical around me is like using the n word around a black person. Some of these women are so obvious in their dislike of and disdain for gay people. I read about your depression and wonder how much it is affected by negativity and yes messages of hate that you get from others. Some of the women that I refer to remind me of high school girls that look down their noses at people that they view as beneath them. I think for gay people self-acceptance is often a challenge given the hostility of some towards people like us. I think there is a reason that God made some people different. I don’t know why. But we are God’s children and also made in His image and likeness. Sometimes we feel conflicted about accepting ourselves as who we are but I remember being told when I was in high school that God didn’t make junk. I want to share with you that I may not have used the term gay to label myself with as a young person, even though some others may have, but I never prayed for God to make me different. I never thought that God could or would change this. I am who I am and who God made me to be and must accept this. On another note, I feel bad that you smoke. It seems odd to hear of a young person smoking as it isn’t as common among young people as when I was younger. I suppose there as still some that aren’t aware of the health risks. I hope that you don’t smoke too much. Things are tough for smokers today as so many places ban smoking. (Sorry if I sound like a nag, it must be the parent in me.)

By: Miss D.

Miss D. — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 05:35:12 +0000

Whoa, Paul D., what happened with the food pantry? I’m not sure I understood correctly.

By: Aubrey

Aubrey — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 05:06:51 +0000

Nice post. I am trying to “stay in the day” as much as possible. It’s good to “take things one day at a time.” There is a saying that “God is in the present moment.” All of the contradictions are resolved in the present moment.
I can spend long hours analyzing my problems, mulling over the dilemmas of my life. And I don’t get anywhere.
Sometimes it is good to just say, I don’t know the answer right now. Let it go… Let myself be….
I feel that, in the end, I am really seeking God and that I want the peace that comes from closeness to God. This is becoming clearer to me, and I am developing a stronger intention to become a more faithful Catholic. The Catholic religion is my vehicle to move closer to God.

By: Jon.

Jon. — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 21:56:23 +0000

I cant remember who said this, but to quote someone who was talking about three things he learned in his own spiritual discernment:

“And the third thing….well that’s just it, I don’t know yet. I don’t know. Perhaps that is the third thing? Learning to be okay with not knowing? Well perhaps I’ll never know. And oddly, I’m okay with that.”

By: Paul Delgadillo

Paul Delgadillo — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 16:25:58 +0000

This is the first time I have ever visited here and I like what I am reading. Being a gay Catholic myself I am always dealing with what is going on inside of me. I believe that God is trying to help me to stop being so neurotic, as I am diagnosed with bipolar depression. My spiritual director could not recommend a good catholic therapist to me, so I am stuck with doing my best. I am discovering that it is not an “either/or” thing but a “both/and” one. I am going back to spending daily quiet time in front of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and that being gay is actually a plus. It is just dealing with the loneliness of being celibate. I was just eliminated from our parish food pantry because the bishop was afraid we would get sued for offering hospitality to non-Catholics; this happened when the followings Sunday’s gospel was from St. John chapter 6 on the multiplication of the loaves and fishes. I know that Our Lord wants me to make my love for Him more horizontal and my spiritual director ordered me to join a gym. That daily exercise sure does help a lot of my depression and feeling of loneliness.