Interview With Simcha Fisher
Jul 19, 2013
I keep meaning to tell you, I had a great time being interviewed by Simcha Fisher the other week about the closing of Exodus, the possibility of orientation change, and who would want that anyway. It’s in two parts, and the first one is here.
Bits I liked:
There are two propositions that you can’t hold at the same time: that homosexual acts are disordered, and that the desire for homosexual acts is not disordered.
I’ve been meaning to say that for a while. Maybe I already did, somewhere. While I’m setting things straight (heh), this is something I’ve found myself saying a lot lately, too, to people who don’t understand what the big deal is:
The fact that I’d be interested at all in having sex with a man is not some strange, isolated quirk. You can’t have someone who’s just like a straight guy in every other way except that he wants to be having sex with a man…Who you’re sexually attracted to affects how you relate to both genders on an everyday basis. Or the other way around: how you relate to people affects who you’re attracted to.
As a celibate gay man, I seem to spend half my time telling secular people that I’m just the same as other men, and telling Christians that I’m extremely different from other men. The truth is in the mean, I guess, but sometimes to make the stick straight (heh) you have to bend it too far in the other direction.
And then this part took me by surprise when it came out of my mouth, but I think I agree with it:
See, that’s the whole reason this “gay thing” is such a big deal—because it brings the paradoxes of human experience right onto the surface and makes them unavoidable. It’s why people can’t stop talking about it. It makes it impossible not to talk about the relationship between sex and procreation, or the difference between love and friendship. It makes these things pressing concerns; it makes them so explicit.
Sometimes I think that, no matter how big a deal homosexuality is to people like me, people like me actually make up a pretty tiny segment of the population, so maybe we are all, like Morgan Freeman says about racism, talking about this stuff way too much.
But on the other hand, it seems to have become the locus of the whole battle about everything, call it Culture Wars or call it the battle against the Spiritual Powers of Wickedness in the High Places or call it whatever. Is that making it too big a deal? I’m not sure. Gil Bailie says that, as history progresses, things aren’t getting better or worse, but they are getting clearer. Homosexuality seems to be one of the dividing lines along which this clarity is happening.
Anyway, it’s my Writing Day and I have a lot of irons in the fire. If you don’t read Simcha Fisher already, shame on you! Any time I write something kind of funny or beautiful, I think to myself proudly that I may have caught an echo of the kind of thing Simcha does all the time. I barely did anything last Friday because of a cracked engine block and some intransigent DMV officers, so I’m hoping this Friday’s a little more productive.