I sin sometimes, but I’m not really a sinner.
It’s true that I eat a lot — but eating a lot is not who I am. I don’t really consider food that important, honestly. My therapist says I have an oral fixation, so it’s not like I’m just eating for gratification. Anyway, I know spiritual things matter way more than food, and I’m prety good about spiritual things.
It’s true that I can be brash, but it’s not out of real pride. It’s just because I spent my whole childhood being such a people-pleaser, always sacrificing my own needs for the needs of people around me. So now I make up for that by asserting myself. It’s good to assert yourself, stand up for yourself! If other people did that more often, they wouldn’t be so sensitive.
It’s true that I think a lot about how good my friends have it, but that’s more like a condition than a sin. Believe me, thinking that way causes me a lot of pain, and if it causes me pain, it can’t be a sin, right? I wish I weren’t so envious. If I just had some of the advantages that my friends did, I wouldn’t have to be envious. I guess I’m just unlucky.
It’s true that I can be lazy, but I do need time for myself, down time, me-time, time to recharge. I’m an introvert, after all, so being around other people is really draining for me. If I were an extrovert, I would give a lot more of my time to other people. It’s a lot easier for extroverts! Most people are probably extroverts, so they don’t have to try as hard as I do.
It’s true that I usually take the best things for myself, but the way I grew up, I thought that to be holy, you had to never enjoy anything. So neurotic! It’s no wonder I overcompensate a bit now. At least I really know how to enjoy the best things. I think getting the best things matters more to me than to most people, so it’s pretty understandable.
It’s true that I get angry a lot, but only when something really unjust happens. I’m not like those people who fly off the handle whenever something doesn’t go their way. Or anyway, I only do that if I’m short on sleep, or hungry: I’m not an angry person. I know I got angry at my waitress, but when it really matters, I can be very forgiving. I bet if somebody ever stole a bunch of money from me, I’d forgive them.
It’s true that I think about sex a lot, but honestly, isn’t it really that I’m just starving for connection, for intimacy? I’m not one of those people who just wants sex. Honestly, it’s not even really about sex. It’s not about the pleasure, anyway. I can do without pleasure. I just need somebody to look after me, to care about me, to make me feel important. Everybody needs that.
To be honest, I only sin — if you can even call it that! — when I have legitimate needs.