Rob Gordon vs. Joan of Arc

6 years ago with 8 comments in Uncategorized
“Part of chastity is not being too attached.” That was Father T during our most recently bi-weekly (supposedly) phone call. “Supposedly” because, as with the doctor, I usually wait until things are pretty bad until I give him a call. And, as with the doctor, if I just talked to him regularly then things probably wouldn’t get so bad. But I’m a man and men ...

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

6 years ago with no comments in Uncategorized
“I’m attracted to men too,” said Fr. S. in the confessional when I told him about my problem. He wasn’t fooling me. He’s not the kind of man you would even wonder about. Not that men with SSA are never virile; I’m plenty virile. (And if you disagree I’ll punch you in the head.) But he was clearly making some kind of Point. “If I see a man ...

Deep Dark Secrets, and Other Irrelevancies

6 years ago with 14 comments in Uncategorized
I just dropped Sal off at the bus station. He’s moving on up north, to see his cousin and maybe get his old job back. My heart aches to see him go, and I know the apartment will be lonelier for a while, but it was time, and it was one heck of a visit. We didn’t do much while he was here. Watched a bunch of movies, drank a bunch of beer. Went to adoration, went to Mass, hung out ...

Sal

7 years ago with 1 comment in Uncategorized
Sal and I see each other every year or two. He’s the last of the three men in college that I tried to attach myself to, but unlike with the other two, once the infatuation faded, I still wanted to be his friend. Sal is an extraordinary person — affectionate, compassionate, and profoundly unconventional. He led a life that, at the time, I considered extremely romantic: never ...

Latin Mass

7 years ago with 3 comments in Uncategorized
Woke up late this morning, and the first church I tried turned out to have a ‘property for sale’ sign draped over their billboard, so their 11:30 was definitely not happening. I ended up at the Spanish Mass at St. Paul’s. I spent some time once with a religious order in Peru — that’ll have to be another post — which left me with some knowledge of Spanish ...

The Problem of Feeling Good

7 years ago with 3 comments in Uncategorized
I am reckoned as one in the tomb: I have reached the end of my strength, like one alone among the dead; like the slain lying in their graves. Friday night compline is a little gruesome. That’s only fitting, of course, that’s what Friday’s for, and it’s often helpful too. It’s been a long time, but I’ve felt what the Psalmist records here. At times like ...

Custom Crosses

7 years ago with 5 comments in Uncategorized
Ever hear that story about the guy who gets to choose his cross? Wish I could find a link to it, but googling “man choose cross heavy Jesus” didn’t narrow it down much. Anyway, so: a man is complaining about his lot in life, how his problems are worse than other people’s. He prays about it and has a vision: the Lord arrives and says Okay, let’s go, I’ll ...

Ivory Tower

7 years ago with 1 comment in Uncategorized
I hitched a ride with a vending machine repairman He said he’d been down that road more than twice He was high on intellectualism I’ve never been there, but the brochure looks nice. —Sheryl Crow I keep meaning to read some of those books on friendship that I keep hearing about, but I’m hesitant to read about friendship, for fear of disturbing what I know about it. I spent ...

Musical Chairs

7 years ago with no comments in Uncategorized
I admit that I don’t like Christmas much. Part of it, I guess, is just the standard stuff about why single people don’t like the holidays. Part of it is that I never seem to be in sync with the liturgical year: I always feel penitential during feasts, and weirdly happy during Lent. A little masochism, maybe. Part is that I tend to spend too much time at my parents’ house. ...

A Dry Tree

7 years ago with 19 comments in Uncategorized
Oh, prayer time. Often boring, sometimes painful, always worth doing. I do half an hour a day, and today I sat for a full 24 minutes before checking the clock! That’s an achievement. When I saw that there were only 6 minutes left, I decided that was just enough time to get through the next chapter in Isaiah. Here’s what jumped out: And let not the eunuch say, ‘Behold, I am a ...