Serious Moonlight

4 month ago with 7 comments in Uncategorized
I woke up this morning to a palpable, startling sense of loss. I cried while walking the dog, and didn’t know why. It wasn’t till I got to work that I heard David Bowie was dead. The most likely explanation for my sourceless melancholy was my own weird neurochemistry, some stress over family trouble, some feelings of disorientation and overwhelmedness at my new job in a new city ...

Madonna House, Part I of III: Slow Burn

2 years ago with 7 comments in Uncategorized
I was…one whose negative demands were more violent than his positive, far more eager to escape pain than to achieve happiness, and feeling it something of an outrage that I had been created without my permission. — C. S. Lewis, Surprised By Joy Two days into my week at Madonna House in Combermere, Ontario, two things are continually on my mind. The first is the presence of Jesus, just ...

You Need Sun

2 years ago with 10 comments in Uncategorized
Travis and Sam are friends. Travis has been sick for weeks, and spends all day lying in bed. Sam is out of town. In Travis’ mind, he is staying inside because he’s sick; but he forgets that he only got sick after staying inside. After one week inside, he started to notice that he was breathing shallowly and had a headache. The headache made him close all the blinds, and he began ...

Redlining, Part I of V: Know You Better

2 years ago with 21 comments in Uncategorized
I’ve been trying for months to write a post to answer a simple question: whether a man can fall in love with another man. After a lot of false starts, I found out that the only way to answer the question is to tell a couple of stories. That’s how the best questions usually work anyway. ★ I had only known S. for a month or two, and we had just come back from the bar. Two ...

Deep Calls To Deep

2 years ago with 3 comments in Uncategorized
Guess what you guys! We interrupt our regular schedule of not-posting-on-Thursdays to bring you this post over on Catholic Exchange. It’s really nice to be writing publicly as Joseph Prever again; I mean, it’s really nice for there to be only one of me. It’s also nice to write stuff that isn’t about gayness in particular. Anyway, here’s an excerpt. Is it safe to ...

Seven Quick Takes, Vol. 6: Fill ‘Er Up

2 years ago with 7 comments in Uncategorized
1 – Long Dark Tea Time It’s been a long time since I was depressed, and that’s amazing. The odd thing is how not-sad is not exactly the same as happy. When I was habitually miserable, I always figured that being free from the constant oppressive darkness was all I could ever ask for. Turns out, nope, my appetite for bliss is infinite, just like CSL said (somewhere ...

What Is Sex, Part I: Secret Sauce

3 years ago with 16 comments in Uncategorized
“The male you could have escaped, for it exists only on the biological level. But the masculine none of us can escape. What is above and beyond all things is so masculine that we are all feminine in relation to it. You had better agree with your adversary quickly.” “You mean I shall have to become a Christian?” said Jane. “It looks like it,” said the ...

Lattice

3 years ago with 13 comments in Uncategorized
“True friendship,” says C. S. Lewis, “is the least jealous of loves.” We in the SSA crowd, or anyway the neurotic crowd, or maybe just the human crowd, hear that and cringe, because so many of us are such amateurs at friendship, amateurs in every sense: we dabble in it, we’re fascinated by it to the point of obsession, and our talent for it is decidedly ...

7 Quick Takes: Esfuérzate y Sé Valiente

3 years ago with 17 comments in Uncategorized
1—It’s my writing day, and that’s a good day, but frankly, I’m in a lot of pain. These road bumps come and go, and I know better than to try reinterpreting my whole life in the light of how I happen to feel today, but today I happen to feel really awful. It’s like those days when you lie in bed shaking with the flu and you just think, “Gosh, I’d like ...

Interlude: On Hope

4 years ago with 14 comments in Uncategorized
I’m sitting in the parking lot of the shrink’s office. This is why I got a laptop: I am so often in transit that if I waited until I was settled at my desk, I’d never get any writing done. I think the woman two spaces away is in the same boat. She’s parked in her car, running the AC and eating something with a plastic fork. Poor thing, poor both of us. I’ll write ...