It’s a Saturday night, I’m at the coffee shop, and the girl at the open mic is singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time Of the Year,” which is a lie because it’s winter, and winter is not summer. Have I ever told you how much I hate winter? And bad sopranos?
Anyway, it’s as good a time as any to tell you where I’ve been for the last couple of months.
I think it started with the Patreon account, which sounded like a good idea until I realized that I put enough pressure on myself even when nobody’s paying me to write. So I got rid of it, and immediately felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
Then I wondered if I might feel even lighter if I eased up on the pressure a bit more by not holding myself to one post per week. So I tried letting that slide, and I did feel lighter.
Then I had this beautiful idea of stopping indefinitely. I noticed that it was a beautiful idea, which implied that the act of writing had become somehow unbeautiful to me.
So I decided to stop, and felt like Peter Parker when he quits being Spiderman and just gets to go traipsing around New York, thinking about science and ignoring robberies and exhibiting a level of confidence all out of proportion to his attractiveness.
After a few weeks, I found that I really liked not writing, and liked it so much that I decided to keep doing it. I hope this doesn’t mean Alfred Molina will be coming for my girlfriend, but, you know.
I’ve been meaning to write an official goodbye, except I didn’t want to give the impression that it was Goodbye Forever, but I also didn’t mean to give the impression that it wasn’t Goodbye Forever, and I didn’t want to just dash something off in case it was forever, because if it was forever then I wouldn’t want to go out sloppily, would I?
Well, it’s probably not going to get any better than this particular sloppy post, so let it be known: I have no plans to write here anymore, but I have no plans not to, either. I just don’t know what’s next, for the blog or for anything. I’ve been reading The Seven Storey Mountain with great enthusiasm, but that’s neither here nor there.
Buuut whyyyy? This is the way I described it to Father T: When you burn incense, it smells good and makes the air thick and rises up to Heaven. Then eventually it’s gone, and it’d be silly to keep sticking coals in the censer, because there’s nothing left to burn and you’re just making scorch marks. I don’t know why there’s nothing left to burn, but there isn’t, and that’s okay with me, because I feel like I burned it real good and made a nice stink.
It’s hard to imagine a life without any kind of writing ever, so whenever the next thing comes along, I will let you know here what it is. Till then, the site won’t be disappearing, and I’ll still be available at steve[dot]gershom[at]gmail[dot]com for anything you’d like to bend my ear about. Within reason. I intend to answer your emails at least as slowly as I ever have, and just as surely.
It’s been a very great blessing to write for you, and to have had your support and encouragement and affection and prayers all this time. Thank you!
Peace & prayers,
Joseph “Steve Gershom” Prever