Forever Ever?

1 year ago with 11 comments in Uncategorized
I’m 200 feet from the stage, but on the Jumbotron I can see Big Boi’s weird plaid pastel quadruple-breasted suit-short combo thing, and that Andr√© 3000’s black jumpsuit says “Art or Fart?” in big white letters. He is wearing a platinum wig. I have been at the Governor’s Ball for the last ten hours, and I am officially too old for this shit. I’m cranky ...

Redlining, Part V of V: Concave and Convex

2 years ago with 16 comments in Uncategorized
Just because a thing can’t be, doesn’t mean it’s not good. Let me clarify. Imagine this. Boy meets girl: call them Dick and Sandra. Dick falls in love with Sandra. Dick marries Sandra. Now Dick and Sandra both get ten years older. They are no longer as young as they were, and no longer as changeable. The selves they have by this time become, are more or less the selves that ...


2 years ago with 15 comments in Uncategorized
I’m eleven, standing in front of a broad painting of a broad woman lying down with no clothes on. My father wants me to look closer — forget what the painting is about, don’t be embarrassed, but see the brushstrokes, look how many colors in the flesh! — but I don’t want to look closer. He puts his hand on my shoulder, nudges me towards the canvas. I’m not ...

Seven Quick Takes, Vol. 6: Fill ‘Er Up

2 years ago with 7 comments in Uncategorized
1 – Long Dark Tea Time It’s been a long time since I was depressed, and that’s amazing. The odd thing is how not-sad is not exactly the same as happy. When I was habitually miserable, I always figured that being free from the constant oppressive darkness was all I could ever ask for. Turns out, nope, my appetite for bliss is infinite, just like CSL said (somewhere ...

Kung Fu, Part I: Neo, Aang, and You

2 years ago with 12 comments in Uncategorized
A reader writes:1 I’ve always had a love/hate perspective on martial arts. On the one hand, it’s so cooool! And I’m really into Avatar (the cartoon), which sort of shows some very different real-life fighting styles, and it’s all very interesting. And…I think it could only be a good thing to be capable of defending myself and others if need be. And anything that ...

What Is Sex, Part II: I Only Do One Thing

2 years ago with 53 comments in Uncategorized
Part I of this post is here. Not everything is about sex, but sex is about everything. Look at this, from Mr. God, This Is Anna: Anna had gotten one end of the burst balloon trapped by her foot to the pavement. While she was stretching it with the one hand, she was poking it with her right index finger. “That’s funny,” she murmured. Her unblinking eyes solidified this ...

Fragment: Languages

2 years ago with 9 comments in Uncategorized
To love a person is to learn the language of that person’s heart. There are as many languages as there are people. Our capacity to learn languages is endless.

You Have To Meet the Man

3 years ago with 11 comments in Uncategorized
Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.1 One nice thing about going to daily(ish) Mass is hearing about the saints, who I usually can’t even be bothered to talk to, much less read about. We’re under no obligation to do any of the above, of course, which is like saying that the son of a rich man could chew on corn cobs and sleep on a bed of hay, if ...


3 years ago with 9 comments in Uncategorized
“You know what’s funny?” says A., coming up to me while we practice Bok Pai Chuan and grinning painfully. “How you’re so much better at that form, even though I’ve been coming here for longer!” “Aw, but you don’t get to come here as often as I do!” I say, hoping my grin is less transparent than his. He really wants me to think he ...


4 years ago with 24 comments in Uncategorized
Falling in love has got to be the most humiliating thing ever. Call it a besetting sin, call it a weakness, or just call it the human condition — this is one of the biggest deals for me, and every time I think I’m all done, I get smacked upside the head with it. You’d think it would set off warning flags when I start to have thoughts like: “Oh yes. I used to be like ...