Dancing With Myself: A Dialogue On Gender & Sexuality, Part II

3 years ago with 5 comments in Uncategorized
Steve Gershom and Joseph Prever, mutually fascinated by each other’s sparkling intellects, but again, in a way that is totally not weird, get together at the same coffee shop where they first bumped into each other, to continue their discussion on gender and sexuality. Joseph begins with an attack disguised as a concession. JP: Have you thought a bit more about what I said? I know you ...
Quick Takes, Vol. 8

Quick Takes, Vol. 8

3 years ago with 21 comments in Uncategorized
Clean Of Heart I’m on day 30 of Clean Of Heart, which is cool. Father T. is my official accountability partner, but as I’m not willing to ask him to give me time every single day to talk about the silly, petty mechanics of my lust, even though he’d never put it that way; and, knowing what a thorough and generous shepherd he is to his flock, I doubt he’d have time ...

Voltage

4 years ago with 15 comments in Uncategorized
I’m eleven, standing in front of a broad painting of a broad woman lying down with no clothes on. My father wants me to look closer — forget what the painting is about, don’t be embarrassed, but see the brushstrokes, look how many colors in the flesh! — but I don’t want to look closer. He puts his hand on my shoulder, nudges me towards the canvas. I’m not ...

Reentry

4 years ago with 6 comments in Uncategorized
The weirdest part of the Journey Into Manhood weekend was the week after it was over. After three days surrounded by men who understood me, supported me, had been where I had been and further, were free with hugs, and didn’t look at me funny after they had seen me all curled up and sobby, mainly because they had just got done being all curled up and sobby — I faced the problem of ...

Jumbled

5 years ago with 23 comments in Uncategorized
I’m grateful for the recent influx of traffic, from Matt Fradd’s site and others. At the same time I’m a little concerned that people seeing my blog for the first time are not seeing me at my best: folks, I swear, three months ago I was not a complete neurotic mess. Neither I nor even Father T. know exactly what is going on here, or why this present darkness is so extreme ...

Learning How to Touch

6 years ago with 20 comments in Uncategorized
A couple of years ago I went to confession to Fr. B, an older priest with a slight New York accent, a pronounced shuffle, and a curmudgeonly demeanor. I explained — I hate the sins that take explaining — that I had put myself in a not-very-good situation. I was at the apartment of a friend, a man my age who also has SSA and who also has no intention of living as a gay man, though ...