Catholic Exchange

Woohoo! My post is up over at Catholic Exchange, under the title The Truth About Same Sex Attraction. The truth, imagine!

I’m grateful to have been given the chance to extend my audience a little bit — and for everyone who came over here from over there, welcome! Glad to have you and I hope you’ll stick around.

Still, a small disclaimer: the dude in the picture over at CE is emphatically not me. I would never make such poor style choices.

[Edit: The pic has been replaced — thanks, CE.]

36 Comments on “Catholic Exchange”

  1. CE Editor says:

    Sorry about the original image choice! A new one has been chosen, and the old one was given to a teenage girl to paste on to the back of her binder.

  2. Jamie says:

    Now I’m really curious about what the original was…

  3. Joe K. says:

    “Now I’m really curious about what the original was…”


  4. Lori says:

    It’s so cool to see others discover you, Steve. I am often blessed by your spiritual maturity, insight and (of course) wit. I’m glad others will be now, too!

  5. Joe K. says:

    I just finished reading the article. You’re a good dude, Steve.

  6. Peter M says:

    Loved the article, Steve. Ditto on the picture.

  7. Jen says:

    Brilliant article! It is honest & concise. I was planning to seek out your blog as I read it. I was spared the search. 🙂

  8. Christy says:

    What a great article! Such a great job at encapsulating and offering hope! Your message is so important I wish everyone could hear it.

  9. Lianna says:

    Thanks, Steve! What a great article! This is a topic that can be difficult to understand, for the world and those in the Church as well. You’re so right, we all have crosses. Especially love this: “Being straight isn’t a guarantee of having a healthy, shiny, pre-integrated sexuality; it just means the whole beautiful, messy concerto is in a different key. Nobody gets to sit this one out.” YES! Thanks for being willing to share your story with the world!

  10. Lake says:

    God bless you my friend for your courage. Living counter-cultural ain’t easy, but we are all called to do so in our particular way. And your way is certainly harder than fight on:)

  11. Dave says:

    Great article, Steve. God bless.

  12. Robert H. says:

    I enjoyed the article more than I thought I would, I will admit it. The title and your three-word commentary on it threw me for a second or two. I’m glad you said what you did, though.

  13. Mary says:

    thanks for the article, very uplifting!

  14. Mike says:

    I, too, am gay & chaste. I thought I was the only one. Thank you for writing that article. It’s comforting to know that I am not alone.

  15. maria says:

    you “en–courage me” thank you and thank you

  16. frizzled says:

    This open, proud and partnered gay man feels sad you’re missing something perfectly natural, even necessary for a complete life in some sense – physical love and affection, emotional openness from another human being – for the sake of homophobic scriptural nonsense.

    1. It’s kind of you to offer me your pity. It’s rude of you to call my faith nonsense. And it’s ignorant of you to imagine that a romantic relationship is the only possible place to experience love, affection, and emotional openness from another human being.

      1. Straight Enough says:

        That weird idea that romantic love is all there is for openness and emotional growth is a kind of new Puritanism, I think. It’s the natural outcome of an obsession with sexual *acts* as being primary, or fundamentally Definitive for our identities.

  17. Steve,

    Great article! Keep up the good work.

    Perhaps you’d like to read and review my book, Born to Love? I’d love to send you a copy.

    Fr. John

    1. Ooh, I like this idea. Father, can you send me an email so I don’t forget to talk to you about this? steve [dot] gershom [at] gmaill [dot] com. Thank you.

  18. Ron says:

    I’m 53 years old, and have been living with SSA for as long as I can remember. I know I’ve said this before, but thank you, Steve, for articulating what so many of us feel. Like Mike, who commented above, for a long time I felt like I was the only man who was gay and striving to be chaste. That’s simply not true. Let’s continue to support and pray for one another, brothers and sisters. Loneliness is a huge issue for people with SSA – I tend to act out when I’m feeling most alone. We form a network of spiritual and emptional support, and for that I’m foreevr grateful.

  19. Straight Enough says:

    Hi, Steve,
    I am so glad to see articles like yours get wider publication on Catholic sites.

    I always like to say I have “straight enough” privilege: That is, I am straight enough to desire the opposite sex and indeed I am married in the Church, with four children.

    I also experience same-sex attraction and have since adolescence.

    So, I can only get a glimpse in my own struggles of what life is like for those who are purely SSA and are staring bravely at their cross every day in the way you are. God bless you, He loves you no matter what! Don’t lose heart, and pray for me; I pray for you and my other SSA brothers and sisters regularly.

  20. Mark from PA says:

    I read that article, Steve. It was very good. Some of the comments were depressing. I get tired of people that have a strong dislike for gay people and feel the need to put gays down. Some of those people are harmful to my faith, sad to say.

    1. Thanks, Mark! I’m glad you liked it. I hope the negative comments didn’t upset you too much. Did you notice that there were more positive comments than negative ones? Since the negative comments were harmful to your faith, were the positive comments beneficial to your faith?

  21. Ron says:

    Thank you for your prayers, Straight Enough. I found your comments very moving for some reason.

  22. Babs says:

    Steve, I hope my son grows up to be a man like you. I’ve no idea what his sexuality will be, but I know he will grapple with sin, and hope he has the same clarity and fortitude you portray. I wouldn’t mind if he had your wit either! I bet your parents are proud of you.

    1. What an extraordinary compliment! Thank you!

  23. liz o. says:


    Your prayer life is showing…thanks for sharing your gift of wisdom.

  24. Peter M says:

    Fr. John, I’ve read your book, and I’d like to thank you for writing it. I’d recommend it to everyone here.

  25. Larissa says:

    As everyone said above me, AWESOME article.
    It fills me with joy to see God really does send prophets to talk about what nobody will, or nobody wants to because it’s too hard, or too difficult, or too embarrassing.
    Keep on doing your job, Steve. I bet God is even happier than me to see it.
    Pray for me!

    Blessings and prayers all the way from Brazil,

    Larissa (:

  26. Chris says:

    You did a fine job on your catholicexchange article! I really enjoy everything you have to say. I have learned a lot by reading your blog and I look forward to seeing what else the Lord may inspire in you.

  27. topher says:


    Thanks for the great article. Been following you since I heard you on Catholic Answers. I struggle with SSA as well. I appreciate your witness and courage. Can’t wait to start the Clean of Heart book you recommended.

    In the article, I think maybe there needs to be a correction. In the second to last paragraph it says, “Maybe you don’t understand yet why the she teaches what she does”. Is there an extra ‘the’ in the sentence after ‘why’?

    God bless, bro.

  28. Anna Marie says:


    Every time you post, I want to give you a big hug. I am so glad that you are open and honest with the Catholic world about your struggles with sin. They are so relative to today’s world and today’s struggles. I pray that more people will discover this blog, and find hope within their hearts that they CAN overcome sin and handle temptation.

  29. mel says:

    Steve – Your recent article truly impressed me. Can you please try to contact Catholic colleges and offer to give a presentation so that their students are exposed to a different way of looking at SSA? I know this will take tremendous courage on your part. I’m sure you will face much opposition but we are losing our children to a secular culture who constantly tells them to do “whatever floats your boat”. Thank you.

  30. DaveMc says:


    What an amazing article. Than you for writing it. I live in southern NH and would really like to get some contacts of groups/counselors I can talk with. I’m 45 minutes north of Boston, if you have any info, can you please email them to me?

    1. Hey Dave,

      I don’t know of anyone in particular but will drop you a line with what info I have.


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