Ever hear of Tommy Prince, over at Common Themes? He is a gay Christian dude in what is being referred to, these days, as a “mixed-orientation marriage”, which is to say, he’s gay and his wife is straight.
I’ve been enjoying reading through his archives, and I really like his tone, which is clear and frank and free of self-pity.
On being broken:
At first it hurt my pride to hear that my brain just won’t let me be happy. I like fixing things and I hate it when I’m not sufficient to solve my own problems. He recommended counseling and St. John’s Wort—which I understand is like 1/20th of a Prozac. Sigh.
Before I started taking it regularly, I had to admit to myself that I was broken. That I needed something outside myself to be happy. That I didn’t have it altogether—no matter how many people I fooled. It was a tough pill to swallow.
But then, I should be used to that idea. It’s kind of central to the gospel: we need God. No one can be whole, happy, or healthy apart from his gracious offer to intervene and fix what we cannot. I had to accept that again, too.
Some random comments about me maybe being gay reached my ears today. I’m not “out”, so of course they were pure speculation. I don’t even know what tipped them off—I’m not effeminate, but I guess I have some unusual mannerisms I’m not even aware of that strike people oddly. Oh well.
In talking with my wife about it, she advised me not to worry about my “tells”—whatever they are. I asked her if she knew what they were and she wouldn’t tell me. She was (correctly) afraid that if I knew what I was doing that seemed gay, I would stop. And she likes me just the way I am.
Just having someone else in the house helps me recognize when I’m hiding. When she and the kids are out-of-town and I’m home alone, I’m a mess. I enjoy the solitude for a bit, but it gets old quickly. It also helps that her love language is quality time, so I have that extra motivation to step outside my often narcissistic little bubble and enter her world.
Man do I need that.
It’s a cool little corner of the internet. Stop on by and give him a little encouragement.