When Can We Be Real?

7 years ago with 6 comments in Uncategorized
It was a good weekend. I finally, finally got to the beach, for the first time this summer. I love the ocean, and can’t do without it for too long. Every summer when I was a little younger, before almost all of us had moved away from my parents’ house, my father used to rent us a house for a week in Rhode Island, practically across the street from the ocean. It was a week of pure ...

The Boys’ Club

7 years ago with 12 comments in Uncategorized
It’s almost embarrassing to say it, because I had forgotten that I used to feel this way, but: I used to blame myself for having SSA. I thought, if only I’d hung out more with other guys and learned to be like them; if only I hadn’t quit the street hockey team, and soccer, and little league; if only I hadn’t faked sick on field day. If only I hadn’t been so ...

In Which I Am Reminded What Nice Friends I Have

7 years ago with 8 comments in Uncategorized
Text message conversation this morning between my friend Rivka and me. She is studying to be a body psychotherapist. SG: This is not fair. No objective reason to feel sad, but it feels like my body is flooded with sadness particles. Stupid body. RJ: Here is what I would suggest from my clinical perspective — long term: take a multivitamin and tons of fish oil every day — b ...

Thanks For All the Fleas

7 years ago with 18 comments in Uncategorized
Well, dear readers, I have been in a funk. I like the word “funk” because it doesn’t allow me to take it too seriously. DEPRESSION is something medical and serious, it’s a CONDITION. A funk, on the other hand, passes and then you go about your business. Just something that happens, like a summer cold. Here’s a snippet from George MacDonald1 that sums things up: ...

The M Word

7 years ago with 40 comments in Uncategorized
It’s not pretty, folks, but you knew it was going to show up here sooner or later, right? I’m talking about — I really don’t like the word — the big M, solitary vice, M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N. Whew, that wasn’t so hard! Back when I was a wee lad, I glommed onto the fact that you didn’t have to say the word itself in confession. You just say “an ...

Out of Egypt

7 years ago with 14 comments in Uncategorized
I remember what it was like, being terrifyingly, nightmarishly depressed. I remember one morning in college in particular. I was 19, and had just fallen for someone, call him M., harder than I’ve ever fallen for anyone before or since. I remember waking up, and feeling the freedom of that split second before you remember everything, before the heaviness settles down. I remember ...

Marriage Good, Virginity Better

7 years ago with 5 comments in Uncategorized
Yes, maybe. Anyway that is the point pondered in Mark Shea’s recent and sort of Chestertonian post over at NCR. Excerpt: The Church recognizes that sex is a sign, not the reality. It is sacramental, but it is never proposed as the sacrament of the altar…That’s not because sex is impure. It’s because sex is a raging fire that will burn out of control once you remove it from ...

The Chalupa of Loneliness

7 years ago with 14 comments in Uncategorized
I spent a good chunk of the morning and afternoon soaked in brake fluid, gear oil, and sweat. I wanted to tell you about that mainly because it makes me sound awesome. I’m not especially mechanically inclined, but I am fairly cheap, and I won’t deny that working on my motorcycle1 makes me feel like a stud. No, actually it makes me feel like a petulant child about 80% of the time ...

If It Ain’t Baroque

7 years ago with 37 comments in Uncategorized
A reader recently asked what I think of reparative therapy — therapy aimed specifically at getting the gay out, so to speak. I’m not too sure. I’m not a fan of the name, first of all. All therapy is reparative therapy, ‘cuz we’re all broken,1 so calling this kind reparative therapy is a little like saying: Yeah, but you’re a mess! You like dudes! ...

How It Got Better #1: Talking

7 years ago with 15 comments in Uncategorized
[The first of a proposed series.] I was angry with my friend; I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow.1 I was sixteen the first time I told anybody. I went to confession to Fr. T, who’s known our family for years. I don’t think I went in there planning to spill the beans, but it came out anyway: I’m gay. He said, Do you ...