Learning How to Touch

7 years ago with 20 comments in Uncategorized
A couple of years ago I went to confession to Fr. B, an older priest with a slight New York accent, a pronounced shuffle, and a curmudgeonly demeanor. I explained — I hate the sins that take explaining — that I had put myself in a not-very-good situation. I was at the apartment of a friend, a man my age who also has SSA and who also has no intention of living as a gay man, though ...

On Celibacy, Diplomacy, and Beer

7 years ago with 33 comments in Uncategorized
I like arguing. The more I’m surrounded by liberals, the more conservative I start talking. The converse is also true. I don’t, for example, have any great love for the Novus Ordo Mass in particular, but surround me with traddies and you’d think I came straight from Steubenville.1 This isn’t a great character trait. I’d like to think it’s because I’m ...

Going Public, Pt. II

7 years ago with 26 comments in Uncategorized
Pretty soon here I’m going to slip up. I’m @stevegershom on twitter, I’m steve.gershom on gmail, but I’ve got “real” accounts on both of those places, too. This has been happening to me in meatspace, too, and not just since I started blogging here. I was at a party recently where a couple of gay guys were reminiscing about their coming-out experiences, and ...

Love-From-Woundedness

7 years ago with 26 comments in Uncategorized
Already I’m getting tired of this anonymity thing. I keep wanting to post on facebook to all my friends, about how excited I am about the new blog, about how many good conversations are likely to come from this. Also about how little prepared I feel to be anything like an authority on the subject, and how much prayer I need, not only about the daily, normal things that everybody deals ...

Welcome

7 years ago with 17 comments in Uncategorized
Welcome, all you Little Catholic Bubblers, and everybody else! I’m glad Leila let me write for her. Today is the official unveiling day of this blog. I’m pretty excited. I assume that you all are coming over here in hordes, droves, possibly even scads. I love what Leila does, because what I see on her blog is closer to actual conversation between Catholics and others than what one ...

Going Public

7 years ago with 10 comments in Uncategorized
Not long ago I reconnected with Keith, an old college friend. I’d always found him sort of intimidating. He’s a big guy, sort of a jock, and comes across as extremely confident — three things that, in college, terrified me and made me clam up. We hung out with our mutual friend Molly, one of my oldest and dearest, who’s known about my SSA since about ’04. The ...

In a Box

7 years ago with 6 comments in Uncategorized
Round Two with Mr. Shrink — I’ll have to come up with a better pseudonym than that — gets another mixed review. On the one hand, he had some good insights about my family, stuff I’ve actually never thought of before. On the other hand, he also got a bit snarky when I said I’m from a family of eight. And when I said that no, I didn’t believe in ...

Second Thoughts

7 years ago with 5 comments in Uncategorized
Still thinking about this “something wrong with me” business. Two things come to mind, neither of them groundbreaking but both maybe worth mentioning. 1: It’s true that, objectively speaking, my sexuality doesn’t “work” the way it’s supposed to. On the other hand, this is true of everybody. I was particularly reminded of this fact when reading the ...

Go Shrink Yourself

7 years ago with 14 comments in Uncategorized
I just met with my new shrink for the first time. When I told him I was Catholic, he went “Oh boy” — and said that he was, too, but that the Church’s teaching on homosexuality was something that he struggled with. He gave me a hard time when I described my same-sex attraction as “something wrong with me.” During the course of our 50 minutes, he also used ...

My Cup Sort Of Dribbleth Over

7 years ago with 6 comments in Uncategorized
One of the things I hate most about depression is not knowing what it means. Of course, it doesn’t have to mean anything: I’ve been short on sleep, my back hurts most of the time, and that means I can’t exercise, either. That’s a recipe for feeling crummy. The problem with being melancholy and overanalytical, of course, is that you’ve always got to figure it out. ...