Locker Room, Part I: Charge

7 years ago with 10 comments
An earnest gay reader1 wonders how to comport himself at the gym: My first instinct is to say, “Okay, simple. It’s an occasion of sin for you, so even if you’re okay in the locker room, forget the shower or sauna, or even the pool sometimes. Even if that means you have to drive home all sweaty and stink up your car.” But then — motivated probably by equal parts ...

My One Essential Piece Of Advice…

7 years ago with 8 comments
…for parents of gay kids: For your son to go through life thinking of himself as Different and Damaged would be much, much worse than for him to go through life just thinking dudes are hot. So, you know. Keep that in mind while you figure out what to do and what to say.

Seven Quick Takes, Vol. 5: Polarities

7 years ago with 18 comments
1: Lovers Gonna Love I’m still recovering from the overflowing love and support I got in the comboxes, and on facebook, and by text message, and via twitter. I’m delighted, but not surprised, to find out that all the people in my life who I suspected of being kind and compassionate and generous really are that way. Thank you all so much. More than one of your messages brought ...

Hearts Of Flesh

7 years ago with 9 comments
Come check out my guest post at It’s kind of your standard I’m-here-I’m-queer-and-this-is-what-that’s-like, but I think it’s a good one. Check out the site while you’re at it: a worthy project for sure.

Odd Man Out

7 years ago with 11 comments
Sorry, readers, I’ve been stuck somewhere at the junction of sick and lazy. I’ve spent the last few days mostly in bed, something I unfortunately needed to do. At the same time, I’m grateful that my station in life is such that, if I need to, I can spend a few days in bed. When my sister or my spiritual director gets a horrific cold, there are still babies to be changed and ...

The Knife

9 years ago with 7 comments
Some people think Christians are in love with suffering. Not true: it’s just that we don’t see it as something to be categorically avoided. My heart hurts right now. It just does, and none of your business why, dear readers, although you’d understand it well enough. I know myself well enough to know that it’ll pass, and probably soon. There’s a kind of hurt that ...

Fury, Mire, Bananas!

9 years ago with 31 comments
Occasionally I do pull out the gay card. The gay card, of course, is a conversational trump, as in: “You say homosexual acts are wrong? Well, I have a gay cousin!” This is exactly as logical as saying: “You think Cheetos aren’t nutritious? Well, I love Cheetos!” Probably true, but totally irrelevant — unless you expect me to tailor my principles according ...