Keep Getting Happier Until You’re Dead

5 years ago with 12 comments
The good news about having been lonely and desperate and insecure in high school is that college is a liberating, exciting experience, where you will be surrounded by likeminded companions who are filled, like you, with the searing, visionary intensity of youth. The good news about having been a neurotic, unstable mess with horrifying attachment issues in college is that being a ...

A History of Tears

6 years ago with 14 comments
“Oh, stop crying already.” It’s twenty years ago, but I remember the exact tone of my father’s voice, equal parts impatience and disgust. To me, crying is something that happens, not something I can decide to do or not do, so his command makes me burn with all the anger of which a nine-year-old is capable, which is a frightening amount. But there’s nobody I can ...

Religion

6 years ago with 15 comments
During my first year of college, I kept a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe in my dorm room window, facing outwards, so that when I walked across campus I’d see her watching over me from the third floor. That image had always hung in a corner of the kitchen in my parent’s house. For me, it was a little piece of safety. So I was taken aback when my friend P. asked me to take it ...

Delight

7 years ago with 5 comments
It’s 2003, and I am afloat emotionally and spiritually and socially and nearly every other way a 20-year-old can be afloat. The administration keeps talking about community, like it has for the last three years: building it, taking part in it, respecting it, supporting it; but I don’t know what community is, don’t even know that I don’t know what it is. I feel like ...