In Which I Am Reminded What Nice Friends I Have

6 years ago with 8 comments in Uncategorized
Text message conversation this morning between my friend Rivka and me. She is studying to be a body psychotherapist. SG: This is not fair. No objective reason to feel sad, but it feels like my body is flooded with sadness particles. Stupid body. RJ: Here is what I would suggest from my clinical perspective — long term: take a multivitamin and tons of fish oil every day — b ...

Thanks For All the Fleas

6 years ago with 18 comments in Uncategorized
Well, dear readers, I have been in a funk. I like the word “funk” because it doesn’t allow me to take it too seriously. DEPRESSION is something medical and serious, it’s a CONDITION. A funk, on the other hand, passes and then you go about your business. Just something that happens, like a summer cold. Here’s a snippet from George MacDonald1 that sums things up: ...

Out of Egypt

6 years ago with 14 comments in Uncategorized
I remember what it was like, being terrifyingly, nightmarishly depressed. I remember one morning in college in particular. I was 19, and had just fallen for someone, call him M., harder than I’ve ever fallen for anyone before or since. I remember waking up, and feeling the freedom of that split second before you remember everything, before the heaviness settles down. I remember ...

My Cup Sort Of Dribbleth Over

6 years ago with 6 comments in Uncategorized
One of the things I hate most about depression is not knowing what it means. Of course, it doesn’t have to mean anything: I’ve been short on sleep, my back hurts most of the time, and that means I can’t exercise, either. That’s a recipe for feeling crummy. The problem with being melancholy and overanalytical, of course, is that you’ve always got to figure it out. ...

On Sheep’s Wings

7 years ago with 8 comments in Uncategorized
But you and all the kind of Christ Are ignorant and brave, And you have wars you hardly win And souls you hardly save… Night shall be thrice night over you, And heaven an iron cope. Do you have joy without a cause, Yea, faith without a hope?1 “Faith without a hope.” Ugh. Sometimes that’s exactly what’s necessary. Whenever the liar’s lies start sounding ...

The Problem of Feeling Good

7 years ago with 3 comments in Uncategorized
I am reckoned as one in the tomb: I have reached the end of my strength, like one alone among the dead; like the slain lying in their graves. Friday night compline is a little gruesome. That’s only fitting, of course, that’s what Friday’s for, and it’s often helpful too. It’s been a long time, but I’ve felt what the Psalmist records here. At times like ...