How To Screw Without Stripping

6 years ago with 20 comments
I own a punching bag full of women’s clothing. If I ever told that to my therapist, she’d probably get that hungry look. But there’s nothing symbolic about it, I swear. The guy who used to own the bag, a schoolmate of mine in college, went to the basement of the girls’ dorm at the end of the semester, collected everything from the box of castoffs, and stuffed it all ...

Malleted!!

7 years ago with 24 comments
Falling in love has got to be the most humiliating thing ever. Call it a besetting sin, call it a weakness, or just call it the human condition — this is one of the biggest deals for me, and every time I think I’m all done, I get smacked upside the head with it. You’d think it would set off warning flags when I start to have thoughts like: “Oh yes. I used to be like ...

Cortical Remodeling

7 years ago with 5 comments
So I says to the Lord at the beginning of this Lent, “Lord,” I says, “let’s keep things on the surface this year. I think I’m in a pretty good spot.” “Yeah?” He says. “Yeah,” I say. “I mean, I’ll give stuff up and so forth. I’m no slacker, I’ll even tackle something big. But you and I, we’re close enough ...

Tired

7 years ago with 8 comments
It’d be nice if we were angels, wouldn’t it? None of this back-and-forth, these mixed motives, these bodies that never work right, that have to be fed every single day, that bits keep on falling off of. Just be what you are, all in one piece (or maybe no pieces?), and that’s that. It’s not just when our bodies go wrong that they’re a pain in the ass.1 Having a ...