Redlining, Part IV of V: Oak and Orchid

5 years ago with 11 comments
So okay, let’s say my and Ryan’s friendship is like that: let’s say it’s made of steel underneath, and the other bits have just got to fall away. What about the eros — does that fall away, too? Even if the answer is “no”, I’ll take it. What’s the alternative? Drop him because the friendship isn’t worth the price? I complained to ...

Redlining, Part III of V: Cold Morning

5 years ago with 12 comments
“It wasn’t that I thought you would freak out.” I’ve just, unthinkably!, told Ryan G. that I’m attracted to him, and now I am explaining why I didn’t tell him before. “I just thought you might start to…I don’t know…” “Keep my distance?” Ryan says it with a grimace, like it is the stupidest idea in the world. Not ...

Redlining, Part II of V: I Can Deal With That

5 years ago with 9 comments
I am trying to answer the question of whether a man can fall in love with another man. Last time, I talked about when I did, in fact, fall in love with S.; which might or might not mean that the answer is exactly “yes”. On to the next part of the story. ★ Ryan had just invited me to spend the weekend at the beach house his family had rented, which was perfect, because I had just ...

Thanks

5 years ago with 23 comments
I heard a nice idea from my sister: every time something happens that you’re really thankful for, you write it on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Then, at the end of the year, you read the pieces of paper, to remember all the good things. I think I missed some big ones — I guess I forgot to keep putting stuff in the jar — and some of the things are on a whole nother ...

Ain’t No Thing

6 years ago with 10 comments
Happy National Coming Out Day! I guess that’s a thing. Apropos of that, Boy, it’s a good thing having an awkward moment at a get-together doesn’t send me into a spiral of self-loathing and despair anymore. No joke, that used to happen. I’d flub a handshake1 or tell an unfunny joke or be the wrong kind of geeky when everybody else was being the right kind of cool, and ...

Seven Quick Takes, Vol. 5: Polarities

6 years ago with 18 comments
1: Lovers Gonna Love I’m still recovering from the overflowing love and support I got in the comboxes, and on facebook, and by text message, and via twitter. I’m delighted, but not surprised, to find out that all the people in my life who I suspected of being kind and compassionate and generous really are that way. Thank you all so much. More than one of your messages brought ...